GB DAY!

you know.. i was kinda dreading this day.. it was exciting at first cause for this year, our whole batch was together and doing you know.. SOMETHING.. like flags.. commanding... contingent commanding.. it's like so cool! but i'ts scary too... i thought audrey would be standing with me.. goodness i almost died when i realised it's like i'm one man show.. thank goodness the contingent was supporting me. i so lvoe them can! thank you sarah too! she kept consoling me before i fall-ded in.. sigh.. love her so much. was a bit stressed up at first... cause i woke up kidna late.. so sleepy lor.. i thought i was late for the GB thing! scareded me.. in the end.. i was one of the earlier ones... -_-

anyway, we were so behind time. was panicking a bit. was quite frustrated too cause sigh.. everything was so messy. i like suddenly had mind block, and i couldn't remember what to brief the girls. thank goodness for audrey sam juli and raq! they reminded me and calmly told the girls to follow instructions. audrey was a bit scary though. felt a bit intimidated cuase when i made a blunder, she'd be like NO! uniform imspection FIRST! wah, aud and her loud voice.. embarrass me in front of contingent. felt quite bad. but it is kind of her way and she was trying to help i guess.. but sometimes it just makes me feel worse, cause the contingent kinda knows i don't know something in a way. nvm. i still love my adurey. oh ya, then a few people were sick, and there were also some who turned up for school but did not wear uniform. THEN THERE WAS THE GIRLS' HAIR! goodness i can vomit blood. i don't know what happened to the girls lar arh, but i just find it so weird. like they don't have that sense of urgency, i mean such a simple thing as hair.. just get the HAIR INTO THE CAP! then they like so mah fan... but still trying to be nice... and during the national anthemn, while i was saluting.. my legs were trembling like nobody's business... couldn't stop them, was so nervous... then after keluar baris, i know the contingent has been standing still for quite some time, but they're like, after that their posture.. they just slouched like some chicken in FRONT of the WHOLE school... but i forgot to brief them on that part.. so maybe that's why i'm so angry. i'm not angry at them, i'm angry at myself. i don't know... my squad kinda disappoints me, i don't even know if its good writing it here. but i've got no where else to write so i'm just going to continue.

like after the sec 4s have stepped down.. my squad is dying. it's can be heartbreaking. i have absolute faith in esther's sec 3s, but well, somehow, they don't seem to be showing good example. like they're wonderful people, but things like uniform, punctuality... argh! i don't know.. i'm jsut so sad.. it's as if, everything has gone down the drain. raquel say something to make me feel better. going to cry soon. forget it. pray tonight. i am off to tear tissue paper. my thoughts are so jumbled up i don't even know if whoever is reading this understand what i'm trying to say. but don't take it the wrong way... i love everyone in GB, love the company, love the work. i just don't know what to do with everyone!

ps: good thing no one fainted! =)