Year 2007

Year 2007 has been one weird one. I guess it's me growing up and maturing and being a year 2 student or something. -.- You get what i mean, angel =) We both think about it and go nuts over it. It definitely has to do with age i think. Either that or my parents have gone mad, or i've lost all my sane-ness.

My parents have been well, reprimanding me a lot this year, although we do have quite a few good laughs too. Guess what's up with this post? I'm now in a neighbor's place escaping my own home, cause it's too much. I just feel so sad and frustrated, and with my parents around, i always end up crying like mad and not feeling good about anything.

I just came home from tampines (church), and when i got home, i let my dog out cause she was whining and crying for me. I had to pee so i rushed to the loo to well, pee. The next thing i knew, my dad was yelling at me, physically pushing me aside when i tried to give my dog water, and well yeah, you get the point. He was angry with loisa. I just didn't know why. When he returned into his room (the study room which is practically his), i just went to a corner of the house and cried with my dog. I think i was so frustrated. I recently lost my handphone. Just yesterday actually. I lost it after a movie, i guess someone must have stolen it. I'm angry at myself too i guess. Within 5 minutes, it was gone -.- *mutters* KARMA fella! you WAIT! *loisa throws in lizard tails, snakes eyes, and argh tomatoes, then mutters a spell*

Earlier, my dog bit the laptop adapter, and my parents were real mad at me. I don't know, maybe i'm sensitive this year or something, but i cry so much because of my parents. They have this ability to make me cry so easily. It's not their words, it's their actions. Their nonverbal cues (gee, i'm putting my communications studies to good use). =) Not bad.

Yesterday, i was telling my mum i'm sorry for the disappearance of my handphone, and that i didn't mind using her old handphone.

Mum: I don't care, i'm not getting you a new phone. You jolly well use the old phone!!"
Loisa: Okay i don't mind, it's fine with me.
Mum: Don't use those words with me.
Loisa: (???) Sorry mummy, i didn't mean it.

Yeah, that's my life story. I seem to be getting scolded a lot without quite knowing why. I'm not blaming anyone, not my parents, well i guess not myself either. I'm not very sure. I'm confused.

There's the curfew incident too, when i presumed it was okay going home at 11pm since my mum didn't say anything everytime i come home late from dinner after school or after stuff with school mates. One day though, i called home around 8 plus and told the folks that i was taking the 9.45pm shuttle bus from aloha loyang (chalet, a friend's birthday party) and i would reach home at 11pm the latest. WHOA DRAMA! My mum was yelling at me through the phone, saying my dad was extremely angry. I was again "???". Well anyway, that sorted out, my curfew is now 10.30pm. I feel it's miscommunication, cause never before had my mum addressed disapproval at the time i was going home, and my dad certainly never said anything. -.- But of course, it was my fault for coming home and all that yada yada.

I guess what i'm trying to say is, is it wrong to say it really isn't ACTUALLY my fault for all these stuff? I mean, half the time i don't even know what happened when i get reprimanded. Okay yeah, i guess it's my fault sometimes, but i don't really believe it. Okay am i making sense? Right nevermind. Let's just leave it alone.

I was just so sad and tired just now that i cried the hardest ever just now. Everything was building up i think. I love Pebbles =) -smiling a lot now-

BUT THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS YEAR?

The Lord my God.

Cell group has been great! This is the only cell group i've ever felt comfortable in, and the only one i truly feel God's presence. He's there all the time. He never fails to revive me again. This year, i'm gonna love God more and know Him better. Help me do that, all of you out there, fellow sisters and brothers in Christ! =)

Love this song =) When i was so down earlier on, i was just letting the song flow over me, and i felt so good after that. Allow me to share it with you guys!

"Salvation is here"

Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me
Salvation is here

"God He Reigns"

Holy One
Holy One
Al creation bows to worship
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Glory in the highest

I will sing
I will sing His praises forever

God He reigns
God He reigns
Holy is the Lord of heaven
God He reigns
God He reigns forever more

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord.

Dear Heavenly Father,
i love You. You reign in my life.

love loisa.