16th Sptember 2006

It didn't really hit me, til now.

Yesterday i read on audrey and shawn's blogs that a certain samuel tan passed away. He's a junior in BB. All the while that i have been working with BB, it's always with amos, or tinsley, or someone from my year. So, i didn't feel the impact as much. I was never good with names anyway.

Then

As i was flipping through the papers today, i came across the orbituary, and i went oh shiat, samuel! He's only 16 years old, and he hasn't even done his O levels yet. I saw his picture there, his handsome strong face, and oh no... It brings me back to think why i never... whatever, the words aren't coming out of my mouth.

I used to see him in church, and he's always with his parents and brother. Whenever there are bibles, cds, or vcds to be sold, he's the one who take money from his mum and runs down to get them. Even though we don't know each other like super personally, i used to play face games with him, in church. We knew each other existed, i knew he was the Head of BB, he knew i was the Head of GB, we knew we were there in church, but we pretended not to recognise each other. One week he nodded at me, i smiled at him, he smiled back at me, i nodded back at him, and it continued for the next few weeks. Our families sat together during one service, and we were making faces at each other throughout the sermon. Oops, yes, hut.. argh...

Shoot. i Passed him a little bit of my secondary school notes too, when i met him once along the corridor. Same subject, and he asked for it.

I wish i had never marked him down. Numerous times, when i was in sec 3, and he, in sec 2, i used to book him. I was a councillor and was part of the recess duty team. He was always such a rascal, staying back in class so late. Gah

I don't know, suddenly everything's so.. wrong? without him? Nevermind, all said, he's best known for his leadership skills, and i've always somewhat admired him from afar, cause he seemed so cool with his red sash and BB uniform, giving out commands wiht no effort, and everyone listened, you know?

Right, i don't know what point i'm trying to make here. I guess it's jsut so sudden and i'll miss him, somewhat.

Ps. Stay away from mosquitos. Dengue fever can take lives away very very very fast. =(